It is by grace you have been saved!

I have had countless people say to me 'God wants to heal you, you just need some faith!'  Well I would have to disagree with both parts of that statement.  I don't believe that God wants to heal me, yes I agree that ultimately he does, but not right now.  Why? Because the moment God wants to heal me that is it, in that second I will be healed.  It isn't a matter of well if you have enough faith, or a matter of well if enough people pray then you will definitely be healed.  God is not a God who works on works.  He isn't swayed or persuaded by things that we do.  He doesn't submit to peer pressure if enough people ask for something.  No, he is God and he does what is right and what is best and we have to accept that, which is an incredibly hard thing to accept in the face of suffering.  Have I fully accepted that? No, not yet and again I think that it will be a life long process to accept it.  It is one HARD lesson.


Please don't think that I am suggesting that means we don't need to pray because yes of course we should and yes God listens and yes God always answers but that answer is not always yes.


Also have more faith.  I don't believe that you can 'have more faith'  One verse that sums up the idea of faith for me is Ephesians 2v8 "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God."  Faith is not down to me (and what a relief - if it was I would have failed a long time ago!) It is a gift God gives to us by his grace and so by people saying to me 'you need more faith', they are actually saying that God's grace is not enough for me.  God is a perfectly just God and he does not give some people a tiny bit of faith (meaning they only have a tiny bit of grace) and then leaves them to work it out themselves to make up the missing grace.  No, the verse above follows on by saying "not by works, so nobody can boast."


I think that I used to find that quite a scary thought and from talking to other people I don't think I was alone.  The fact that we couldn't do a tick list of "jobs for God" to try and earn his favour and earn our way to him was quite a hard thought to get our heads round.  We like to be noticed for our hard work and we like to earn our way up and we like to earn people's favour.  I found it hard to think that there was nothing I can do to "make God like me".  But now the more and more it feels as though my body is failing me; the harder it is becoming to carry out daily life I am so glad that there is nothing I can do to earn God's favour.  I am so glad that I am saved through grace alone.  I am so glad that no matter how much or little I can or can not do physically God still loves me the same.  I am so glad that I do not have to work to earn God's favour.  He takes me as I am - a wretched sinner and slowly day by day changes me to be more and more like Jesus.