Romans 8:28

For a long time whenever I talked to people about my pain a lot of the time I got the response of 'Look at Romans 8:28' (And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.)  I cannot count the amount of times I was told this and believe me it was not what I wanted to hear.  I was hurting and struggling and hearing someone say its OK its for your good just made me believe that they had totally missed the point, that they had not just listened to a word I had said.  It was almost as is they were  saying that my pain and struggles were invalid.  Every time I heard this said to me I just wanted to shout 'No, this is NOT good!'  I mean, how can the worst pain of your life 24/7 be a good thing?  Its crazy! I always went away from those conversations discouraged.

It is only recently that I have started to learn and accept what I now think is the true meaning of this verse.  You see this pain and illness does not feel good and I don't think it is good, but that does not mean that God is not working for my ultimate good.  I have been learning more and more that I do not always know what is best for myself.  I often think I know what's best for me and yes it may be the thing that feels better and easier in the short term, but long term I don't have a clue.

It is an incredibly hard thing to accept, that God ultimately knows what is good for me and I don't.  It is an incredibly humbling place to be, and to get there a lot of pride had to be knocked down (and is still in the process of being knocked down.)  God has eternal plans, eternal timings... I am lucky if my plans are for more than a week ahead. 

Slowly, very slowly I am learning that God does work for my good.  That doesn't mean He works in the way I most want Him to; it does not mean He works in the way that is easiest for me, but He is working for my good.

Now it is still hard to read that verse, it is still hard to see that this pain could be good, but instead of reading it with anger, I can now read it with acceptance, excitement and anxiousness of what good God is going to bring out of the situations He places me in.

The crowd vs the cross...

The crowd says follow us, the cross says follow me. The crowd says rely on us, the cross says rely on me.  The crowd says earn your worth, the cross says I am your worth.  The crowd says bear your burdens, the cross says nail them to me.  The crowd says be happy, the cross says be holy.  The crowd says if it feels good do it, the cross says for loves sake endure it.  The crowd says honour yourself, the cross says humble yourself.  The crowd says do, the cross says done.  Which will you choose, the crowd or the cross?

I absolutely love this way of looking at the crowd and the cross (I did not make this up, and am not trying to take credit for it...)  So often we seem so alone trying to go the way of the cross.  So many times it seems like following the crowd is the easiest way - why fight it when you can just join in.  Why bother trying to go against the flow? 

The thing is, what happens to following the crowd when something goes wrong, when you lose something important to you, when things don't go the way you wanted/expected them to? 

This is something pain has taught me.  The crowd says you've got to do, do, do. The crowd says that you have to earn everything yourself, you have to rely on yourself, you have to earn everything, work for it.  That becomes a big problem when life is so painful - I feel so weak, so helpless, so unreliable and unable.  The crowd tells me to carry my own burdens, but so often they feel so big and heavy that I cannot even begin to pick them up.  Where does that leave me if I do what the crowd tells me to do?

Then we bring the glorious cross into the picture.  The cross says everything is already done!  The cross says rely on our unchanging God, cast all your burdens onto Him who sustains all things.  Him who created the Universe and Him who has already bared the entirety of my sin.  The cross says hang everything onto me.

So which will you choose - the crowd or the cross?